It is a dark time for movie fans. Although some theater chains have put common sense rules of etiquette in place, terribly behaved humans are driving civilized movie fans from their comfy theater recliners, and have taken over the joint.
Evading the dreaded texting/talking nincompoops, legions of well behaved folks, led by common sense and courtesy, have established a new base to view their filmed entertainment on the remote comfortable world of their own dang living rooms.
The behemoth theater chains, obsessed with getting butts back in their seats, have dispatched some of the most comfortable, heated, reclining, bring-food-right-to-your-seat theaters ever known in this galaxy….
I made a few resolutions for 2020. At the top of the list is “See Zero Films In Movie Theaters” (which I failed already, since you can’t say no to Star Wars with your nephew). That was followed closely by something currently lurking in my Amazon cart called a “Big Ass TV“…or something of that sort.
Humans are terrible at going to movies. Those of us who fancy ourselves as titans of movie going etiquette (which really only takes a dose of common sense and courtesy), can hardly stand by as the terribly behaved ‘adults’ ruin the experience of seeing films on the big screen.
Before you start to nod your head in agreement with me, ask yourself the following questions:
Have you ever waited for that brief quiet space between trailers to state very loudly if you are going to see or not going to see it?
Have you ever, just as a trailer starts, exclaim loudly ‘OH, that’s (name of movie being shown in trailer)’?
Have you ever brought individually wrapped candies to be opened alllllll throughout the film?
Have you ever thought you had a unique ability to open your phone during a film in a manner where nobody would see it and be distracted from the film?
Have you ever shown up to a film 5 minutes after it’s started, and acted like you’ve never learned to navigate a very very basic letter/number seating system?
Have you ever waited for the quiet moments in the film to open or rattle through your movie snack?
Have you ever started talking spoilers regarding a big event film on your way out of the theater on opening night, as you pass others who are in their way to see it?
Have you ever thought “I paid for this ticket, I can do anything I want“?
If you answered yes to toooo many of these (especially that last one), I’m afraid you’re part of the reason why the home theater market is booming…and why I won’t be joining you at the theaters any more this year. You can have it.
If it were before 2020, I might have struggled more to abstain. However, with the Avengers coming to a close along with the Skywalker Saga, there isn’t anything upcoming that I simply must see in a theater.
I’ll be that guy waiting for films to be released on digital…to view from the comfort (and quiet) of my living room. Not to worry, I won’t be crying about spoilers a month after a films release. I’ve made my own bed -I mean- recliner.